When kids want something, they want it now. And usually what they say is that they need it, not just want it.
Children benefit by having to wait. They need to learn to wait for, anticipate, save for, wish for and plan for what it is that they want.
Teaching this to children is not fun and a lot of parents don’t have the time or patience. Giving then what they want right now, has an immediate short-term payoff for parents. Their children are temporarily quiet and well-behaved. It avoids that particular temper tantrum in the mall.
I can hear you now. What about the nagging. How can I stop them from nagging until I give in? Well, you know the answer to that. Don’t give in. Don’t argue. Practice a one sentence answer to their request and just repeat it until they get the message. A good example is, “No.” Another answer is; “You can save your money to buy that.” When they respond, “But, that’ll take forever and I need it now.” Your response can be: “You want it now. And you can save your money to buy it.”
It’s important that your children learn the difference between wants and needs. They need school clothes and you will buy the best quality for the most reasonable price. They can choose from among the styles in the determined price range. If they want to upgrade, they can pay the difference.
It’s also fine to splurge occasionally. The trick is to use the word splurge so they know it’s a treat and to plan ahead so it’s not a case of you caving into the nagging.
